It is a beautiful winter night and with the last embers of the cooking fire slowly burning out I'm getting ready for bed. It's been a day of joyous reconnection with old friends. Wine, great food and a deep feeling of love and belonging. There's a hint of spring in the air. I can see tiny buds on some of the impatient trees on the property but we all know the warmer temperatures will soon give way to one or two more cold spells before we bid farewell to winter.
It's been a tough month for most. The days of July appear as dark shadows in my mind's eye. Cold and brown, dusty highveld winter. Desperation in the eyes and frantic behaviour of South Africans across the country showed that the veil between order and chaos is extremely thin and fragile. Especially when the deck of cards is stacked against people and the odds for a better future are almost impossible. I hope we as citizens of this beautiful country are able to work and stand together to salvage a dire situation. I hope we can all look around and see the need. The need for compassion, tolerance and also ownership and commitment to positive change and growth.
I hope people can see through an incompetent government and exploitative media cycle and realize that change will have to come from within us, the people. Wouldn't it be great if we could all allow our neighbors and fellow South Africans a place in the sun? Wouldn't it be incredible if we could respect each other, our country and our future? We have to stop waiting for someone or something else to save us and make changes. It's up to us.
Tonight as I'm taking off my work boots and brush off my hat I am grateful for good health, people to love and a job to do. I'm grateful for options and clarity of mind that enable me to write these letters, songs and poems. Every person has something hurting inside. Every person has something they struggle with. We are not as different as we think. Thank you for reading and supporting my creative endeavours. I know it's been quiet. Day after day new ideas are going into my worn out notebook and soon we'll have that magical conversation again in a venue or around a fire near you.
Leonard Cohen said : " There's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in".
Therefore I am grateful that I was able to document the process of loss, compromise and forgiveness in this new piece.
No One ( 2021)
Well I guess I'm okay, it's two in the morning
And I can't sleep anymore.
But I've got the mountain and ocean behind me
Missing your bare feet on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes the right things are the hardest to do
But no one can say I didn't care for you.
And I know you're busy, it's just what you do
But I still wonder if you're alright.
There's a thin line of gold on the eastern horizon
And a beauty that reminds me of you.
Leaving might be the only thing I know how to do
But no one can say I didn't care for you.
Now the miles I put between us may do nothing to ease the pain
I'll still remember your faded blue jeans and your wild hair in the rain
People get older and children will leave us alone.
Don't ever forget that we both lost a home.
Gotta get up and get dressed, grab my belongings
It's time to pack up and be on my way
Think of a new way to get you behind me
Find ways to get through the day
Sometimes the right thing is the hardest to do
But no one can say that I didn't care for you.
- John Barnard -