Night is falling over the city and I’m staring out my apartment window at the Persian Gulf, turning a deep purple as the last light of day surrenders to the curve of the earth and spills over the surface of the water like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket. My coffee table lay covered in pieces of coffee-stained scraps of paper and writing journals all holding snippets of potential lyrics and song ideas I’ve collected over the last few very eventful months in the desert. On my television I’ve got old Bob Dylan concerts on a loop streaming on mute while the hypnotic smell of Mahogany and Spruce from the guitar against my body fills the fading living room air.
Its my day off and after catching up with friends and colleagues, doing my weekly shopping and preparing some meals for the days ahead I now have some time to reflect on life, family, friends and most importantly the new artistic adventure I’ve already embarked on. It is a strange process. The one day you sit staring into the abyss with words falling flat on the page and wondering whether you’ll ever be able to write a song again and the next you’re scrambling for an airsick bag on an intercontinental flight to capture a fleeting streak of inspiration before it disappears into the ether, never to be found again. Over the last year songs have been coming sporadically and then they just dried up for a while. I had more important things to take care of. Besides moving to a new country I had to make sure I provided my family and employees on the farm with a clear vision and mission for the next few years and I had to manage the logistics of having the necessary materials and tools delivered in order to ensure that all the projects continued to run smoothly. It all required careful preplanning, clear guidance and at times, nerves of steel combined with bucket loads of patience. When I first took over the farming operation I realised early that decentralised command would be only the way to successfully run the place and make it sustainable and profitable for the future while working abroad. With that in mind I trained my employees and demanded that every person on the farm take ownership of their unique roll that they have to play. I ensured open lines of communication and shared my vision with my family and employees. It is a work in progress and we have a long way to go but we are on track and the trajectory appears to follow an upward curve. I am grateful and I’m excited about the year ahead. It’s going to be a big one for the farm. We are celebrating a hundred and thirty years on Tygerfontein this year and it is a privilege to call it our home.
For some reason there is always a dragon to slay, especially if you’re willing to look inside yourself, ask some hard questions and attempt to come up with some honest answers. I’ve been struggling with the inevitability of friendships changing, fading and unravelling. The messages and depth of conversations dwindling, replies to attempted communication reducing to abrupt, thumbs up emojis and months of silence and unkept promises of phone calls. The endless weighing of the truth and the self analysis that these unavoidable situations bring. The self doubt and the eventual surrender. The acceptance that it was me who chose this nomadic, freewheeling path and that it is pure lunacy to think that things should or could’ve been any different. This is all on me I suppose. This is the price of not giving into the mundane existence of life in one place where your friends and family are eventually and inevitably taken for granted while being within easy reach. I learnt that life is about a lot of things all at once. One is letting go. Without anger, resentment or pretence. Another is being at peace and living a life of gratitude. There are friends who’ve been absolute rocks, stars to guide my ship by. For them I’m grateful and they will experience the full magnitude of my gratitude. I will invest in the ones who invest in me from now on. Most people when I talk about this remind me that :”it is what it is “. I will now also practice that. People talk who they want to talk to. It’s a simple and as painful as that. But it goes both ways.
I’ve written seven songs thus far for my next album. Some a few years ago and some more recently. I’m on a good streak and I will continue writing until I’m satisfied and able to put out what I have in mind. It will once again be self funded, self released and I will recruit musicians and collaborators that will help me make a lasting piece of art. I will do it my way and go even harder. I am done asking people for opinions. I don’t care if they like it or agree with my process or direction. I’ll do my best and I hope you’ll find something in the work worth holding onto. It is a big and expensive project that will make no money and it is going to take time. I’m aiming for a March 2026 release. There is a lot of work to be done. Artwork, demos, edits, studio sessions and much more. I will keep you posted on the progress and the journey.
I hope you are willing to walk this road with me in spirit. I need to jump into the pain and loss of the last few years and to slay this dragon for good. I aim to make something beautiful and in the words of the Drive By Truckers… something that is “ Brighter than creations Dark”.
JB
