To Beat the Devil …….
“And you still can hear me singing
To the people who don't listen
To the things that I am saying
Praying someone's gonna hear”
- Kris Kristofferson -
The neon stage lights framed a mid-week audience in a haze of cigarette smoke and shiny, golden beer glasses. Sweat was running down my spine, my pearl clip denim shirt sticking to my body and I could smell the wet leather from my guitar strap around my neck. Couples on barstools were shovelling hot food down and rowdy students in the corner were doing tequila shots while the hiss of the stage monitors were singing in my ears.
It was still cool at night and the barroom warmth was equally welcome to both the body and the soul. I had decided on a whim to drive out to the closest beer joint offering an open mic, a rare and unlikely occurrence in these parts, and signed up for a few songs. I had some new material I wanted to put through its paces and an open mic in the student part of town seemed like the most hostile and unlikely spot where idiot compassion could be of any concern. The mission was to get at least three people to listen to my set, have a beer and avoid the cops on my way home..as simple as that.
On stage the mind often wanders. You look for a pair of eyes, a connection or a nod where one of your lines hit a nerve in some unsuspecting soul in the audience. The conversation in that split second where, as Springsteen says, one and one equals three. Magic. You pour out your songs and stories hoping that you don’t forget the words and that your guitar will stay in tune. Then you say thank you, pack up your stuff and disappear into the night. I have throughout the years of doing this, toiled many times with the ins and outs of being a songwriter and performer. My motivation, intentions and expectations are often evaluated and scrutinised on sleepless nights and frustrating attempts at new songs. I’m forever reading books, listening to interviews and talking to friends, mentors and fellow musicians about the craft. I often get told that we do this for ourselves and that it shouldn’t matter whether or not anyone listens or cares. Now, I am by no means comparing myself to the masters and legends that inspire me or had gone before me but I find it hard to believe that they did this thing without the hope of reaching at least a few people or getting to share the stories with a growing audience. I don’t have an answer yet but what I am pretty sure of is that I won’t ever stop doing it. I can’t help myself.
I don’t have any aspirations of fame and fortune. I really only aim to impress my heroes and fellow songwriters and I truly love writing songs, however frustrating at times. I do however wish more people cared enough to take the time to support what we do. That more people were willing to listen to the songs rather than being spoon fed bubblegum bullshit. That more people would support venues that still offer this form of entertainment and that musicians would give each other a hand. I wish that our contemporaries were more willing to share the stage and the audience, promote each other’s efforts and projects and remembered that a rising tide lifts all boats.
“I was born a lonely singer
And I'm bound to die the same
But I've gotta feed the hunger in my soul
And if I never have a nickel
I won't ever die ashamed
‘Cause I don't believe that no one wants to know”
JB